Cards Against Humanity: Family Style

Sorry I have been absent the past couple of nights. I think it is safe to say that I will most likely miss a day every week. I am going to try not to but I usually write in the evening and stuff happens. Life and all that good stuff. Like last night for instance. Jason and I happened to have the same weekend this week and it turned out that Sunday night was our Friday night. And we have been homebodies lately and decided it was time for something other than sitting at home watching tv and playing video games. So I texted the fam and we figured out that we would make the treacherous (heehee) trip out to the island. So we braved the Seattle freeways, conquered the Washington State Ferry and dominated the twisty, turny, back roads of Vashon to finally reach my mom's house. Phew! I feel kinda like there should be some over the river and threw the woods stuff in there, but I suppose that ferries and back roads are close enough. Anywho, after a wonderful home cooked dinner from my mommy (that was only SLIGHTLY too full of weird veggies, her boyfriend is a GAG!!! vegetarian! gasp!) we got down to the good stuff. And the good stuff happened to be my favorite game. It's called Cards Against Humanity (which you can buy HERE) and is basically the much more adult, much more f*!&ed up version of Apples to Apples. If for some strange reason you have played neither of these games the idea is simple. Everyone gets 10 "answer cards" which have (horrible) things on them, at least for the Cards Against Humanity version which shall now be referred to as CAH) and for each round one person draws a "question" card, for lack of better name, and reads it out loud. All the other players then pick the card from their answers that they think the reader will like the best and place it face down in a pile. Once everyone has played their cards the reader must then read them all aloud and pick their favorite. The question card then goes to whoever player's card he picked and whoever has won the most question cards at the end of the game wins. Get it? So for a CAH example one of the question cards is "what's that smell?!" some answers that I have seen "a super soaker full of cat pee" or "having sex on top of a pizza" or "two midgets s*!&ing in a bucket." Do you get the idea? The answers tend to be rather screwed up in a ridiculously funny way and if they are less screwed up they tend to get screwed up by what question they are a response to.

Now that all of you kiddies out there get the idea and are DYING to buy the game for yourself so you to can have some horribly raunchy, NOT politically correct fun with your friends and family, I am going to tell you about my experience with MY family. First off I have to say that my sister is currently 17 and whereas I am used to her speaking and acting and thinking like a normal teenager, my mom is still holding on to her denial about it. And for that matter I am 30 and it has only been rather recently where I have stopped censoring 95% of the stuff coming out of my mouth when around my mom. Then there is her boyfriend Steve who is big on puns but tends to have a bit of a naive-esque feeling to him. I'm not sure why that is, but it's just the vibe that I get. Then there is Jason, my twin-from-another-mother Gen, my surrogate dad M. and myself, who, to put it mildly, are some sick puppies. So you take this half innocent seeming group and smoosh em together with us sickos and give them a horribly wrong game to play and the result is A-FREAKING_MAZING. I have to say I don't think I have had more fun with my family than I did last night. The things that were coming out of people's mouths and brains were shocking! Especially from my mom! And I know that it is so incredibly wrong, but making my sister read these horrible, horrible cards as she turned more and more hot pink was EPIC. Now I do have to throw in a disclaimer here because MOST families would probably NOT enjoy a game night like this. My family tends to be a little out in left field (I mean really, if you know me at all would you expect anything less from my family??) where this kinda thing sounds like a bad idea but turns out to be the best thing ever. Other families with slightly more, delicate, constitutions will want to back away slowly and not make any sudden moves ;)

So that was my epic evening last night. I wish I could remember more of the horrible card combinations that we came up with but with the laughing so hard that my stomach, mouth and cheeks hurt, I went into laughing overload and remember very little specifics. There is one though that sticks out terribly in my mind seeing as this is the saying going around with teenagers these days and it goes like such... "It's not rape if you yell surprise..." Puts a whole new spin on surprise parties huh? o.O